"True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it be lost."
- Charles Caleb Colton
“Beloved mother there is no guilt in what I have done…”
The fatigue bites at me like frost on a cold day. It gets so bad that it’s just unbearable to live this way. I want to just give up so bad and stop living.
Sometimes I just have to sleep all day to get rid of the fatigue. And I want to ask…is there no escape? This is horrible. I am taking diet pills to kill my fatigue but on bad days it just doesn’t work.
The fatigue lets me know there is something wrong but I just feel like the fatigue is kicking my butt lately. I hate it so much.
“It’s far too late to turn it back, to turn it back…”
Sometimes I wish I could go back in time and undo this horrible disease. But then I realize that isn’t possible.
You can’t undo what has already been done. There is no cure for this fatigue. The only thing I can do is try to live with it.
“Slowly they move, one by one…”
The monster inside me…it will not be happy until it has destroyed all my sense of hope and love of life.
“Food for the clan your kingdom will come.”
My body is my kingdom…and right now…my kingdom is under attack! Fatigue washes over me. My throat is inflamed. My muscles weak, everything is falling apart.
I forgot to take my meds last night. Is this why I am so incredibly miserable today?
“Slowly they’re marching one by one…”
I wish I could see exactly what is going on in my body sometimes. Just to see…what is happening. But then I realize that I wouldn’t want to see that and maybe…that would make things worse.
Because obviously something ghastly is happening to me…and I don’t think I would want to see it…
“Follow my magic tune it is so easy.”
I made this page to help other people. I knew I couldn’t cut it as a Psychologist, so I made this page to help other people who were sick with Lupus, RA, CFS, Fibro, DID, BPD, Bipolar, and PTSD.
“Her eyes, her pale cold eyes, are watching over me…”
I feel like someone up in heaven really loves me. And I am trying to figure out just who that is…
God…do you really love me?
“I’ve never felt alone…”
Thank you everyone for being there for me during this hard time. I really appreciate it and I love you all so much.
“All the children for her glory.”
We fight because we choose to. We fight because we want to. And we fight because we think that is the right thing to do. And…it is the right thing to do.
“A fair price and a deal was fixed.”
We can either fight fatigue or let it fight us…
“I did my part and they betrayed.”
I am a good person and I have lots of friends. But a lot of my college friends disappeared when I got sick. I’ve had issues with friends who just didn’t understand my illness, who spread things about me that weren’t true, and friends who just didn’t care about me when I cared so much about them. It really hurt me.
“I cleared their problem well…but I trusted lies.”
Now I wonder…why did I ever trust them?
Why did I believe, for a moment…that they were my true friends?
“All your children went astray.”
Life changes people…causes them to become different…life makes them different people.
And some people aren’t who you think they are.
“Pay the price for ignorance, praise and glory to the clan, watch your step I’ll bring the end.”
Chronic Fatigue I’m going to f***ing slit your throat. I’m going to kill you for causing me pain and suffering. I hate you so f***ing much.
“Rats repeat their feast.”
Chronic Fatigue, you’re a rat…that’s exactly what YOU are.
“Queen will be quite pleased, all your children went astray, pay the price for ignorance, praise the glorious race of rats, one by one they’ll join the dance.”
Alone, we can’t do much, but together we can f***ing make some changes. :)
“Hungry souls they shall be fed, praise the wisdom of the rats, all the children went astray, pay the price for ignorance.”
Not knowing what’s wrong with you is the WORST thing in the world. That’s why it’s so important to know…
Who knows…ignorance could KILL.
“Now you know fear…”
I’ve known fear ever since I heard that my Aunt had SLE. I’ve known fear when I wondered if I would wake up too tired to do anything.
Fear is a part of my life.
“Face the unknown…”
Every day for me is the unknown.
“Dwell in tears…”
I cry a little every day because of what has happened to me. I think it’s healthy to feel and care about things. But I don’t want to overdramatize and make it sound like I’m dying, because I’m not. It’s just crappy what I have to put up with every day.
I cry a little every day because of what has happened to me. I think it’s healthy to feel and care about things. But I don’t want to overdramatize and make it sound like I’m dying, because I’m not. It’s just crappy what I have to put up with every day.
“The story’s told, you may have learned, dare not to betray, the whistler, you should consider, you might fail, you should consider, you might fail…”
I try to take everything one day at a time.
