Do NOT Judge Me

“Because of the lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”

~Lamentations 3:22-23

      I am glad that that God loves me. Because I love him very much. I feel like a lot of people either think I'm great or think I am just a loser. I think that's just a part of life though...not everyone is going to like you.

       I just don't know what it is about mental illness that drives people nuts. Suddenly being mentally ill makes you a burden or something. I mean, seriously? I'm NOT a burden. I'm just a regular person...well...not regular...but a person. I hate the mental illness labels because being mentally ill is just not a good thing in our society. People judge you as less than a person and as "one of the bad ones".

      I really hate people when I see them treat the mentally ill that way. Mostly because...I am one of "those people". Yes I have multiple mental illnesses. Well...I am an adovcate for many illnesses.

I advocate for connective tissue diseases because I have two of those...who knows...maybe more...and I advoate for anxiety, mood, and personality disorders because I have issues with anxiety and mood...not personality though...

I know how it feels to worry. I mostly worry about people leaving me.

       I worry that people will get bored of me and go away. I don't like the idea of being rejected. It hurts. It hurts for everyone but being a trauma survivor, it hurts even more. I feel like when I bare myself to people who I thought were friends, and they reject me...I feel like my heart is being ripped out.

       I know I shouldn't wear my heart on my sleeve, but sometimes it's important to do so...for survival. You HAVE to talk about some stuff. And you feel really close to the people who suffer with the same stuff as you do. And when those people reject you...well...it hurts.

I know I have to work on not being so open....and my anger and my tendency to be really f***ing rude to people I don't like...

       Well....we all have things to work on so stop f***ing judging!